Friday, December 23, 2011

I sit here all the time with something on my mind.I cant seem to get away from all the pain and suffering why do i feel this way every day. I dont know why i cry. I dont know why i wanna die. I dont understand myself maybe i should kill myself. I feel sad and it makes me mad.

I go to work every day. I feel like a jerk what can i say.

There is noone that can help me noone to save me from the shit im going through. None to say i love you.
There is none to hold me when im alone. Noone to call me on the phone. 

There is none to talk to when im in need.Noone to stitch me if i bleed.Maybe one day I will wake up and see the light but until then my life will always be a fight.

People say im jealous.. high headed... because they got all these & i dont... f**k u. i dont want a f**king normal life like u... im not gonna cry.. im not gonna die... but you ll see my attitude from now...

Saturday, December 03, 2011

B Day-Color-Nature

Found it while surfing....

If your birthday is on  .....  Scroll down to find out about your  nature .... 

December 23rd - January 1st Red                                 
January 2nd - January 11th  Orange                             
January 12th - January 24th Yellow                             
January 25th - February 3   Pink                               
February 4th - February 8th Blue                               
February 9th - 18th February     Green                               
February 19th - 28th February    Brown                               
March1st - Match 10th       Aqua                               
March 11 - March 20th       Lime                               
March 21 st                 Black                               
March 22 nd - March 31st    Purple                             
April 1st - April 10th      Navy                               
April 11th - April 20th     Silver                             
April 21st - April 30th     White                               
May 2nd - May 14th          Blue                               
May 15th - May 24th         Gold                               
May 25th - June 3rd         Cream                               
June 4th - June13th         Gray                               
June 14 - June 23rd         Maroon                             
June 24th                   Gray                                                                                            
June 25 - July 4th          Red
July 5th - July 14th        Orange                             
July 15th - July 25 th      Yellow                             
July 26th - August 4 th     Pink                               
August 5th - August 13th    Blue                               
August 14th - August 23rd   Green                               
August 24 - September 2nd   Brown                               
September 3rd -  September12th     Aqua                               
September 13th - 22nd September  Lime                               
September 23rd     Olive                               
September 24th - 3rd October    Purple                             
October 4th - October 13th  Nave                               
October 14th - October 23rd Silver                             
October 24 - November 11th  White                               
November 12th - 21st  November    Gold                               
November 22nd - December1st Cream                               
December 2nd - December11th Gray                               
December 12th - 21st  December    Maroon                             
December 22nd       Teal                               

Cute and lovable type, you are picky but always in love ...and     
liked to be loved. Fresh and cheerful, but can be "moody" at       
times. Capable with people, nice, soft, and that can love you for   
the way you are. Likes people that are easy to talk to, and can     
make you feel comfortable.                                         
Competitive and sportive. Don't like losing and always cheerful!   
You are trustworthy, and very out-going. You choose love           
carefully, and don't fall in love easily. But once you find the     
right one, you don't let go for a long long time.                   
You are mostly interested in your looks. And have high standards   
in picking love. You think and make a solution precisely, and       
hardly make stupid mistakes. You like to lead, and is easy for you 
to make new friends.                                               
You are attractive, and active. You never hide your feelings, and   
express everything that's inside. But can be selfish at times. You 
want to be noticed, and don't like to be treated unequally. You     
can brighten up people's day. You know what to say at the right     
time, and you have a good sense of humor.                           
You get along well with new people. You are not really a shy       
person, but sometimes you can hurt people's feelings by your       
words... You like to be loved and noticed by your lover, but       
mostly you are single, waiting for the right person.               
You know what's right and what's wrong. You are cheerful and out   
going. It's hard for you to find the one you want, but once you     
find the right person, you won't be able to fall in love again for 
a long time.                                                       
You are always trying your best in everything, and like to help     
and care for other people. But you are not easily satisfied. You   
have negative thoughts, and you look for romantic love like in a   
You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by many people, and have a     
strong leadership towards relationships. You make good decision     
and make the right choice at the right time. And always dreaming   
of romantic relationship.                                           
You are intelligent, and know what's right. You like to take       
things go your way, which can sometimes cause trouble or not       
thinking about other people's feelings. But you are patient when   
it comes to love... Once you get a hold of the right person, it's   
hard for you to find a better love.                                 
You are responsible for your own actions, and you know how to       
treat people. You always have goals to reach, and are competitive. 
When it comes to friendship, you find it hard to trust someone,     
but once you find the right friend, you trust them for ever.       
You are mysterious, never selfish and get interested in things     
easily. Your day can be sad or happy depending on your mood. You   
are popular between friends but you can act stupid at times, and   
forget things easily. You go for person that's trustworthy.         
You are calm, but easily stressed out. You get jealous easily, and 
complain over little things. You can't get stuck into one thing,   
but you have a capable personality for everyone to trust you and   
like you.                                                           
You are imaginative and shy, but you like trying new things. You   
like to challenge yourself. You learn things easily, and like       
"Hard to get". Your love life is normally hard and confusing.       
You dream and have goals in your life. You get jealous easily and   
you don't react to things easily. You are different and sometimes   
thought highly by others.                                           
You are warm and light hearted. You seem to flow well with friends 
and family. You don't like violence and know what's right. You are 
kind and cheerful, but don't envy other people easily.             
You are active and sportive. It's hard for other people to become   
close with you, but you fall in love easily. But once you find out 
you can't get something, you give up and let go easily as well.     
You have low self-esteem, and very picky. You are artistic and     
like to fall in love, but you let your love pass by, by loving     
with your mind, not your heart.                                     
You are attractive, and love your life. You have a strong feeling   
towards everything. And very easily distracted. Once you get angry 
at someone, it's hard for you to forgive them.                     
Your feelings change suddenly and easily. You are always lonely,   
and like travelling. You are truthful, but listen and believe       
other people too easily. It's hard to find love for you, and you   
get lost in love easily. Sometimes you get hurt by love.           
You are challenging, and have the "guts". But you don't like       
changes in your life. And once you make a decision, you keep it     
that way for a long time. Your love life is also challenging, and   
You are responsible for your own actions, and you know how to       
treat people. You always have goals to reach, and are competitive. 
When it comes to friendship, you find it hard to trust someone,     
but once you find the right friend, you trust them for ever.  
I couldn't tell why i'm sad... 
i couldn't tell why i'm crying...
I couldn't tell why i feel so numb and empty... 
I couldn't tell you why i feel so disgusting...
I couldn't explain why i hate waking up everyday... 
I couldn't tell how much i hate not being able to sleep... 
I couldn't tell how much i hate waiting...
I couldn't tell how much i hate the future... 
I couldn't tell why i'm so afraid... 
I couldn't tell why i never fit in... 
I couldn't tell because, i just don't know.

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

A girl like me...

Dear god,

First of all i thank you for putting me into this f***ing  damn world.
damn damn damn damn....
why its always me??
why u made me a dumb rebellion???
My life sucks!!!

I lost the focus in life, failed to get my own needs..
I remembered someone used to call me the happiest girl but sadly now it isn't.

I'm tired..
really i'm tired....
Am afraid I would lose myself one day...

you got FB?? or twitter atleast???
add or follow me...
i got many questions to ask u...

Sunday, November 27, 2011

அட கடவுளே!!!

இன்று முடிஞ்சவரை தமிழ்ல எழுத முயற்சி பண்றேன்.. எதாவது தப்பு இருந்த மன்னிச்சிருங்க!!! (school timeல தமிழ் எழுதியது, அதோட இப்பத்தான் எழுதுறேன்.. so கண்டிப்பா spelling mistakes நிறைய இருக்கும்!!!)

காலைல கஷ்டப்பட்டு முழிச்சி, குளிச்சி, பஸ்ச புடிக்கறது பரிட்சைல பாஸ் ஆகுற மாதிரி. உட்கார இடம் கிடைச்சா  school 1st  வந்த மாதிரி...

அதுலையும் ஸ்கூல் பசங்க bag , வேளைக்கு போறவங்களோட handbag இல்லை lunch bag நம்ப தலைல கட்டாம...  வயசானவங்க யாரும் நம்பகிட்ட இடம் கேட்காம... Ticket Pass பண்ற வேலை இல்லாம... போய் சேருறது state 1st வாங்கின மாதிரி...

இப்படி கஷ்டப்பட்டு போன்ன வாரம் ஒரு நாளு பஸ்ல இடம் கிடைச்சு சந்தோசமா பாட்டு கேட்டு உட்கார்திருந்தேன். 

என் பக்கதுல ஒரு பொண்ணு வந்து உட்கார்ததளிருந்து ரொம்ப seriousஆ  போன்ல பேசிட்டு இருந்தா... அப்படி எனத்தான் பேசுறன்னு பாட்ட pauseல போட்டு (ஒட்டு)கேட்டேன்.. (ஹி ஹி ஹி)...

"இந்த வாரம் கண்டிப்பா அம்மாவை பாக்க நீ வர..." (எதோ குடும்ப பிரச்னை போல்ல)
"அம்மாவை பாத்த உன் கஷ்டமெல்லாம் போய்விடும் ...."  (எந்த அம்மா???)
"இல்ல பேசலாம் முடியாது... 6500 ரூபாய் கட்டின அவங்களா கிட்ட பாக்கலாம்... " (ஆஹா இது தான் matterஆ)
"அம்மாவை பார்வதியா அலங்காரம் பண்ணி அவங்களுக்கு அபிசேகம் நடக்கும்... அத பாத்தாலே போதும் உனக்கு எந்த கஷ்டமும் இனி வராது.." (அட கடவுளே!!! )

இந்த காலத்திலும் இந்த மாதிரி விஷயங்கள எப்படிதான் ஜனங்க நம்புராகளோ!!!

முக்கியமா இதுல போய் சேருரவங்க படிச்சவங்களும், high-class peoples தான்...

என்னை பொறுத்த வரை மனுஷன் தான் கடவுள்  கிட்ட எதையாவது எதிர்பார்ப்பான். கடவுளுக்கும் மனுஷனுக்கும் உள்ள உறவு அம்மா-குழந்தைக்கும் உள்ள உறவு போல. அவளோட குழத்தை கேட்டதையெல்லாம் கொடுப்பா ஆனா அவ திருப்பி எதிர்பகுறது அன்பு மட்டும் தான். 6500 ரூபாய் குடுத்தா தான் அவங்களா பாக்கமுடுயும்நா அவங்க சாமி இல்லை ஆசாமி...

சரி நான் போய் என் வேலைய பாக்குறேன்... என்ன வேலையா ?? தூங்கறது தான்....atleast நாளைகாவது சீக்கரம் எழுந்து பஸ்ல seat புடிக்கலாம்னு பாக்குறேன்!!!

சொல்ல மறந்துட்டேன் Latest trendஆ அம்மாவை நம்ப மக்கள் design designஆ திட்டினதுல போன வாரம் பஸ்ல நல்ல time pass ஆச்சு... ஹி ஹி ஹி!!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

im back

So its been very loooooooooong time since i updated my blog. Almost 1 yr... A lot has changed...
I ll work on updating my blog regularly....
For today.. really i dont have anything to post... lemme think.... hmmm... just got some scattered thoughts...
let me start with what i did today/nowadays...
most of my time is going in travelling to office itself. almost 3.5 - 4 hrs daily.. uff... (its also one of the reason for not updating blog regularly)
hmmm.. thn...
from last week using electronic media is prohibited in my office... i miss my ipod...
I never thought i could be so lonenly without it... Thankfully I was wrong!  
most of the time i never know what song was playing also.. i just leave in my place playing... it kept me the feeling that someone was with me...also when i hear techno i do work more fastly too... It all depends on the situation, how I'm feeling and what I'm doing.... hope i ll get used to office life without my ipod

Sunday, October 23, 2011

What is more valuable – gold or silver?

LOng long ago ...there lived a mathematician in a village outside Ujjain..He was often called by local king to advice on matters related to economy.His reputation had spread as far as Texila in the North and Kanchi in the south. So it hurt him very much when the village headman told him, "you may be a great mathematician who advices the king on economic matters but you son does not know the value of the Gold or Silver"

             The mathematician called his son and asked, "What is more valuable-Gold or silver?"   "Gold"..said the son,Thatz correct why is it then that the village headman makes fun of you,claims you donno the value of Gold or silver?He teases me everyday, he mocks me before other village elders as a father who neglects his son.This hurts me. I feel  everyone in the village is laughing behind my back because you do not know what is more valuable...Gold or Silver..explain this to me son" he asked.

            So the son of the mathematician told his father the reason why the village headman carried this impression."Everyday on my way to school,the village headman calls me to his house. There in front of other village elders, he holds out a silver coin in one hand and gold coin in the other. He asks me to pick up the more valuable coin. I pick the silver coin..he laughs, the elders jeer,every one makes fun of me And then I go to school. This happens everyday. That is why they tell you I do not know the value of Gold or Silver.."

          The father was confused. His son know the value of gold and silver, and yet when asked to choose
between a gold coin and silver coin always picked the silver coin. "Why don't you pick the Gold coin?'
he asked in response the son took his father to his room and showed  him a box.In the box were atleast
a hundred silver coins.Turning to his father ythe mathematician's son told.."The day I pick up the Gold coin the game will stop. They will stop having fun and I will stop making money"

         The bottom line is...
         Sometimes in life,we have to play the fool because our seniors and our peers,and sometimes our juniors like it. That does not mean we lose in the game of life. It juzz means allowing others to win in one arena of the game, while we win the other arena of the game. We have to choose which arena matters to us and which arenas do not.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Conversation with Sangeetha Mohandass

2.Type "do not see idiots movie" and translate to tamil
3.And the result is Amazing :) :)

Sunday, September 04, 2011


FAKE FRIE NDS: Are for a while...
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life...

FAKE FRIENDS: Will talk bad to the person who talks bad about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock the person out that talked bad about you.

I cant remember it completely but I read it somewhere.
i dont know why, today i felt like i have not made any real friends.. or might be i have not made friends with similar mindset..

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

its my life...

Alone to cry,
Alone to laugh,
Alone to smile,
Alone to frown.

Alone to live,
Alone to die,
Alone to wander,
Alone to discover.

Alone in pain,
Alone in hurt,
Alone in joy.

Alone in the morning,
Alone in the night,
Alone in the afternoon,
Alone in this life,
Alone in this world.

Alone in boredom,
Alone in knowledge,
Alone in this state.
Alone with People,
Alone at school,
Alone right now,
Alone when i was born,
Alone when i will die.

Alone walking through life,
without any pride,
How can you be satisfied,
Living your life like you do,
when you know there is some one out there,
who could realy use a friend like you.
No one will know how i live,
No one will know who i am,
No one will ever get to know me,
Because i am destined to spend ma life alone.
Wanting to hv someone,
To live ma life with,
But fr nw,
I wil continue alone,
And al alone..

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I donno why god gave ears and brain to guys... Anyway they not gonna use it....